Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
Friends: Don't forget to socialize
Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
Society: Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr: Fuck the world, they're peasants. At least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

maybe the sun doesn’t want to be called “hot”. maybe it wants to be called “beautiful”. think before you speak

mia-redworth:

I think it’s one of the hottest things when a guy moans alot or when they whisper stuff like “fuuucckkkkk” during oral or sex

satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.